There are moments you may sit in your surroundings and as you look around everything that should seem familiar to you feels out of place, like you are an alien and everything you have ever known about your life doesn’t make any sense anymore. The people that have constantly been in your life now may look at you with eyebrows raised and blank stares filled with confusion and might even be asking themselves what Planet you are on. They don’t understand what is happening and quite frankly sometimes you really don’t either. The difference now is you are feeling and trusting the changes percolating up from within you and the trying to understand or figure it out is becoming less and less. Instead, you are trusting yourself to know this is who you are becoming. And depending on where the people in your life are at on their journey they may still be trying to figure why you’ve changed, how come you are not acting the same way anymore, and they may not want to accept your choices. You may be experiencing the shift in all of your relationships from life-long friends, family members, your husband, wife or significant other. This new transformation that you continue to grow from within on this new journey in being authentically you will help you walk through the acceptance of allowing all relationship to be authentic. You will choose what relationships you want to keep breathing life into and which you will choose to let go of without the attachment of guilt, shame or fear because with acceptance from within you accept all moments for what they are. And you come to know that you accept that you are the only one choosing to create whatever you want your life to be.
The fact that you are at a point where you feel like you don’t fit in anywhere would make Eckhart Tolle give you the innocent child-like joyous giggle that he does, pause with a comforting silence and then he would tell you how beautiful that is. You are transforming, letting go of trying to identify who you are and are moving into a feeling space where you are allowing yourself to be you. You are dissolving the Ego’s need for control of identity and not choosing to define who you are in a role, realizing there is nothing to figure out anymore. You are transforming from the unconscious mind in the trying to figure out the meaning of life and walking into the consciousness of choosing to experience life from your state of inner being…connected with the heart. That transcends words and is a beautiful state of transformation.
Naturally with transformation comes much change. This new terrain you are maneuvering may be one you are not as familiar with but you are not questioning the surroundings as much as you used to. The changes may start to feel more natural but not always easy. And you may find yourself with boxing gloves on looking at your body double in the ring standing right in front of you giving you a beady eye stare with this feeling you are about ready to receive a hard blow to the chin and an upper cut that knocks you down for a moment or two or maybe for a few days. Your egoic reflection says how dare you choose these new transformative ways. You might find yourself in this boxing ring every now and then through this transformation but get back in there and do not resist this feeling as well. Don’t fight that reflection but instead look yourself in the eyes, surrender, be present with those feelings and you will see a beautiful relationship of allowing that fear and control to dissolve with presence as you watch the illusion of control fade and disappear right in front of your eyes. You are remembering who you are from within. There is no reason to fight anymore. See this ring as now a sacred space you are stepping into and meet yourself in the center of that ring with grateful eyes and a compassionate heart for showing you that you can accept and allow the beautiful transformation that you have awakened to and are choosing to walk through. And if you do get knocked down at times and takes a bit to get back up, you now know this isn’t about going another round in judging yourself or walking for days clinging to the pain…this is about acceptance, allowance, loving yourself through celebrating you were aware and knowing you are the creator of the choices in your life.
The people in your life may be trying their best to understand what is happening. You may find a multitude of actions and reactions coming from the people in your life for what you are choosing to do. Anger, resentment, manipulation, an overly supportive expression, temporary engagement to try and express a unity in togetherness, avoidance, guilt, and perhaps you are experiencing relationships that are growing together as well through support and new ones are entering your life because of your new choices. Walking through this you may see the pendulum swing back and forth within yourself and with others towards you because you are not playing the role that has been created during your relationships together. And for a very long you time you have been a co-creator in defining the roles in all of those relationships. The difference now is you have chosen something different.
To awaken. To Remember. To feel. To be present.
Know that the magic in being able to say to yourself or out loud that you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere right now means that you have made and continue to make the choices steeping within your being like a strong brewed tea that only keeps getter stronger within with every step of courage you take. You have chosen self reflection to challenge what you thought was life and who you thought you was from living in the mind and are transforming through the will within to see yourself through your heart with love and presence.
Your being knows now that the truth isn’t about having to fit into anything anymore. No more fitting into any roles of husband, father, friend, enemy, fixer, do-er, helper, healer…no more identities. You are a BEing choosing presence. It is that simple. With that, the universe flows through you in all moments.
You have decided to take a journey of transformation. To start making choices to not just exist but instead to be present, conscious, and choose to experience the flow of life. To truly live and share your true authentic self takes courage, will, compassion, non-judgment, patience, love and you are transforming with every choice you make into knowing that there is nothing to fit into because there is no separation when you are one with life.
BE present. ALLOW the flow. CELEBRATE you.
